Friday, March 25, 2011


Dude!...Dude and Dude have had to give in to the "Man" and seek jobbage to help fund their new, independent lifestyle. Bummer! Recycling bottles and cans, and walking dogs, were providing all the "Fish Taco Fundage" needed before; but with their new pad, and a need to meet and impress chicks, more income is now required.

Fortunately, they stumbled into a start up business on a corner of their beach, SIMMER DOWN COFFEE SHACK. A cool new coffee hangout owned by laidback Mr. Perkins, an attorney who sold his practice for the stress-free life of having a cool hangout away from the courtroom and near the sand. For Dude and Dude fans: Here is a breakdown of their new employment "digs" where they now wear the title of baristas; a name they dispise. As they put it, "Baristas? We don't want to wear frilly dresses and dance on tables? We just want to serve coffee!" If they don't know the correct term for today's coffee maker, I imagine the coffee is below average for sure...dude.

1. LOGO: Not only a great look, but a well thought out tool for marketing T-shirts, coffee mugs, mouse pads and anything else I think you'll buy! :)
2. MR. PERKINS: Don't let the name fool you. He knows as much about coffee as the Dudes do. He's looking for others to do all the heavy lifting for him from now on. Hiring Dude and Dude may not provide the laidback lifestyle he's looking for, but he enjoys a good laugh! The Dudes are all that and a good law suit waiting to happen. This ex-attorney just might be called back into service!
3. DUDE & DUDE: Two baristas in over their heads, but backed into a financial corner, where, unfortunately, employment seems their only escape.
"Working for the man...Drag City!"
They aren't, however, looking for advancement, management, bennies or a company car. Just enough fundage to support their fish taco fetish, pay for their new digs, and impress the ladies - if they don't accidently poison someone first.
4. CUSTOMERS: This will continue to be a barrage of over-worked, stressed out, "Got to have my morning cup or I'll kill someone!" people. Anybody, from local business people to tourists passing through all have an equal chance of being the butt of high comedy.
Side Note: If you're a good friend of mine, and you see a character that resembles you getting used and was a mere coincidence!
5. COFFEE STUFF: All just a great mystery to the Dudes who are learning on the fly. Put some stuff in, pull a lever, turn a handle and hope the drinker doesn't drop dead, at least until they are outside the establishment. It's all really just smoke and mirrors to them. They don't understand how these machines can make a beverage that soothes the savage beast, but they're glad they do, and if they don't, they'll slip in a little something extra.
6. TEAS: The mellowing agent of the Coffee House world. They push this stuff like crack to a junkie. Their goal is a mellow atmosphere, and a strong tea concoction can stop a rhino in his tracks! My favorite (small print) is Emp-Tea, which runs $0.00 a cup.
7. NEVILLE: Mr. Perkins son. A wise cracking, sarcastic thorn in the side of the two Dudes. Being the owner's son gives you certain priviledges. Being hired by dad to deliver coffee orders locally puts him in direct contact, and harm's way, with the Dudes. A rich kid with attitude and a quick wit. I'm afraid the Dudes have no chance, and Neville knows it!
8: OFFICE: The main place of escape where Mr. Perkins spends most of his time, only peaking out occasionally to make sure the Dudes haven't burnt the place to the ground or left the door unlocked and the cash register unattended. A quiet haven...for now.
9: HANG: The kickback lounge at the front of the shack where people relax, mingle and blow off the stress of the day. It's also a great place for the Dudes to make their moves on the ladies. If only they had some moves.
10: THE COUNTER: This acts as a buffer between disgruntled customers. It also doubles as a hide away to catch up on some much needed sleepage!
11: TIP JAR: Never a huge return at the end of the day. Tips are based on level of service and the quality of the product. Nuff said.
12: NO SHOES, NO PROBLEM: Remember this is a beach community where footwear is optional. Simmer Down is a "Come as you are as long as you leave when you're asked" establishment. No Shoes, No Shirts, No Hangups, No Bothering Mr. Perkins, No Promises on Food Poisoning.
13: LEGAL STUFF: Be sure to Register at and sign up to have Dude and Dude emailed to you everyday. Become part of the D&D Community on the Dude and Dude FB site. Keep up on what's going down in their lives.
Facebook: Keith Poletiek
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1 comment:

  1. Very cool. I enjoy my daily dose of DnD. It is better then coffee. - -David Cairns